"A really companionable and indispensable dog is an accident of nature. You can't get it by breeding and you can't buy it with money. It just happens along."

"For authentic living what is needed is the resolute confrontation of death."

"Boys don't make passes at female smartasses."

"If the whole human race lay in one grave, the epitaph on its headstone might well be: 'It seemed a good idea at the time.'"

"Do not allow children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth."

"The resounding echo of the mortal coil, echoes in the ears of those who are unprepared for it. To some, it sounds like a symphony - to others, a death toll."

"I moved to New York City for my health. I'm paranoid and New York was the only place where my fears were justified."

"If one has no vanity in this life of ours, there is no sufficient reason for living."

"The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of 'Ten Best'."

"Experience without learning is better than learning without experience."

"War may sometimes be a necessary evil. But no matter how necessary, it is always an evil, never a good. We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children."

"One voice can enter ten ears, but ten voices cannot enter one ear."