"Being an actor is easy, just picture someone in a room and you outside waiting for your cue to go in. Elliot Gould's been trying that for forty years."

"This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two."

"I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the last one left."

"Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made."

"You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there."

"I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate."

"The best holistic remedy for high blood pressure is a purring cat on your lap."

"It is not the hours we put in on the job, it is what we put into the hours that counts."

"Of writing well the source and fountainhead is wise thinking."

"Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these"

"To attract men, I wear a perfume called ``New Car Interior.''"

"An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't."